Royals
by celillynn
Summary: After being banished, Jenny persuade her father to give her another chance. Instead of going to Hudson, she comes back to Brooklyn. Is it too hard to change? Who's going to be there for her?
1. Chapter 1

Royals

The first time I heard Royals by Lorde, my mind went immediately to Jenny Humphrey. It's not a song-fic, I just want to explain with that song how Jenny Humphrey is going to be in the story. I do not own the song or GG.

Jenny put her earphones and went to an early morning run for the first time in 2 years. She just needed to think about how she had ruined her life in the last few months and what she could do to persuade his father not to send her to Hudson. And then it came to her ears a song she had never heard before

_I've never seen a diamond in the flesh_

_I cut my teeth on wedding rings in the movies_

_And I'm not proud of my address_

_In the torn up town, no post code envy_

She started to analyze how she had let the money, the desire of being dreaded and respected just like Serena and Blair rule her life the past few years. And she thought about the nights spent sewing her dresses and trying to shake off the label UES gave to her. She didn't want to be Little J from Brooklyn anymore.

_But every song's like:_

_Gold teeth_

_Grey Goose_

_Tripping in the bathroom_

_Bloodstains_

_Ball gowns_

_Trashing the hotel room_

And UES lifestyle was so extreme and funny it almost bore her. Party dresses and perfect hair and make-up were definitely in the list of the most important things to think about, but now here she was, wondering if maybe having all the possibilities she had had, and using them to become Queen Bee instead of become someone special, hasn't been a waste.

_We don't care, we're driving Cadillacs in our dreams_

And she thought about the times she made fun of all this with Dan and Vanessa.

_But everybody's like:_

_Crystal_

_Maybach_

_Diamonds on your timepiece_

_Jet planes_

_Islands_

_Tigers on a gold leash_

And she analyzed the differences between her and the people she envied so much, and the reason she did so. Was it because they were rich? Or because they all seemed to have extreme lives? Or maybe they just had everything she was craving for. These were her desires and fears melted together.

_We don't care, we aren't caught up in your love affair_

And the things she saw back there, the scandals and the gossip and the begging "Please don't tell… Please". She didn't really care, but used these things as weapons to hurt people.

_And we'll never be royals (royals)_

_It don't run in our blood_

_That kind of lux just ain't for us, we crave a different kind of buzz_

Oh, but she wanted nothing more than being Queen. She didn't care about the struggle she had to do, she just wanted to be on top and nothing could've stopped her. Or so she thought.

_Let me be your ruler (ruler)_

_You can call me queen bee_

_And baby I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule_

_Let me live that fantasy_

But why couldn't she be the Queen? How is it that she ruled her reign with the always present shadow of Blair? Maybe because after all, Blair had never stopped being Queen and she was just a chess queen in Blair's hands.

_My friends and I we've cracked the code_

_We count our dollars on the train to the party_

_And everyone who knows us knows_

_That we're fine with this, we didn't come from money_

And her mind went to last evening, when her neighbors took her to that party, and how she had enjoyed every single minute of the evening. No fancy dresses or major dramas were allowed there. She had the time of her life dressed in a simple purple dress, drinking a couple of beers, dancing like crazy and enjoying her new friends company .

_But every song's like:_

_Gold teeth_

_Grey Goose_

_Tripping in the bathroom_

_Bloodstains_

_Ball gowns_

_Trashing the hotel room_

_We don't care, we're driving Cadillacs in our dreams_

_But everybody's like:_

_Crystal_

_Maybach_

_Diamonds on your timepiece_

_Jet planes_

_Islands_

_Tigers on a gold leash_

_We don't care, we aren't caught up in your love affair_

She allowed herself to miss for another minute the UES life as well as the person she was back there, and then she understood the truth:

_And we'll never be royals (royals)_

_It don't run in our blood_

_That kind of lux just ain't for us, we crave a different kind of buzz_

_Let me be your ruler (ruler)_

_You can call me queen bee_

_And baby I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule_

_Let me live that fantasy_

She knew how it feels to be Queen Bee, and how it feels to be Brooklyn trash. But now she understood that maybe all the backstabbing and the "responsibilities" of being queen, had taken away all the innocence and the honesty. She started to think that maybe it was time to crave for something more than being the Queen of a couple of horny teenagers.

_ooh ooh oh ooh_

_We're better than we've ever dreamed_

_And I'm in love with being queen_

_ooh ooh oh ooh_

_Life is great without a care_

_We aren't caught up in your love affair_

Truth is, she was tired of trying to impose herself as Queen. It was time to be the Queen of someone who considered her like that, not for fear, but for love. And maybe she's never gonna be rich or royal, but she was going to be important for everyone who was worth it.

_And we'll never be royals (royals)_

_It don't run in our blood_

_That kind of lux just ain't for us, we crave a different kind of buzz_

_Let me be your ruler (ruler)_

_You can call me queen bee_

_And baby I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule_

_Let me live that fantasy_

Let me know what you think with your reviews!

And I have a very important question : Who do you want Jenny to be with?

Chuck

Nate

Carter

OC

English is not my first language!


	2. Past and present

Past and Present

Jenny and her father were at the loft in an uncomfortable silence.

After 10 minutes Rufus was the first to speak.

-"Why did you want to meet me there?"- 

She looked at him, his eyes and his voice were so cold she was almost scared.

-"Dad, I know I don't have any right to ask you any favors, but I have a proposition for you"- 

-"Let me guess. You want to come back to Manhattan cause you'll be old Jenny, don't you?"- 

-"No Dad. I want to stay here, at the loft. I don't want to go back to Manhattan or to Constance. I want to stay here, go to a normal school, wear normal dresses and live a normal life"- 

-"Jenny I appreciate your desire to be normal again, but you're 17, and I can't let you stay here alone."-  
-"I won't be alone Dad."- She sighed and said – " I asked Dan if he wanted to come back here. He told me he will. But I will be in a sort of probation. He will stay only if he sees a real change in me, and I think I owe you both that much."- 

He thought about it for a while then said –" I will stay here for a couple of days. I want to see if this situation is good for you. I'm not promising anything."- 

She hugged him so tight he almost saw the old Jenny, but he knew better, and he didn't trust her.

-"I'm going to Manhattan to pack a bag. I'll be back later"-

With that, he left.

Jenny grabbed her purse and went to the high school she wanted to attend to take the documents. In the waiting room she saw a couple of girls chatting. She was amazed by how they were all on the same level and no one was trying to get the better of the other.

While she was waiting for the secretary, the girls approached her.

-"Are you going to attend this school?"-  
-"Hopefully…."-  
-" I'm Emily! They're Alex and Nikki and we're waiting for Liz who's talking with the principal"-  
-"I'm Jenny" – she smiled –" Nice to meet you all"

Just then the other girl stepped out from the office -"Girls it's all set! We can start the auditions and ….Who's she?"-  
-"She's Jenny and she's new!"-  
-"I'm Liz.. What…"-  
Just then the secretary called Jenny. She got up from the chair and excused herself. She took the documents and was going out of the school, when the girls she met before waved at her.

-"Where do you live?"-  
-" A couple of blocks away, near the Italian restaurant."-  
-"you mean my father's restaurant" – said Alex

-"I can't believe it! Your father is the chef?"-  
-"Yup!"-  
-" I love that restaurant! My brother and I used to eat there all the time!"-

-"I have an idea!" – said Emily – " Why don't you come with us? We're heading there anyway, cause we have to talk about our project"-  
-" Yeah you can help us! It would be a good way to meet new people here!"- added Liz.

'is It really that simple to be accepted here?' - Jenny thought. But then she understood that in Brooklyn, nobody knew her, and this thought thrilled her. She really had the possibility to start over, and she wasn't gonna waste it.

After an entire afternoon spent talking about Romeo&Juliet, in which Jenny offered to design the costumes, she headed home and while preparing dinner for Rufus and Dan she took an important decision. She took the phone, and signed herself out from the newsletter of Gossip Girl. She waited for Dan, and told him she wasn't gonna help him with the website anymore. Dan understood her desire to cut all the ties with UES, but warned her that if their father was going to live there, there would be times she won't be able to back away. She knew it, and she was afraid of it. She was tempted to ask Dan about Blair, Serena and most of all Eric and Nate, but she was sure they were too disappointed with her, and she couldn't take to know their bad opinion of her.

-"So Jenny, have you thought about where are you going to attend school?"-  
-"Yes Dad, in fact I need your help in filling the papers. I went to a school near the park and took the documents. I need your signature"-  
Rufus was impressed by Jenny's efforts, but he still had some problems in trusting her. Anyway, he signed the papers, and hoped she was really changing.

In the morning, Dan and Rufus went to Manhattan. Dan had to meet Nate and Rufus lived there. Jenny went immediately to deliver the documents at school. After a quick tour, the principal told her she was going to start on Monday. In the afternoon she met the girls again, in order to decide colors and fabrics of the costumes.

Everything was fine until she came home and found Eric ad Serena on the couch.

-"So, I heard you persuade your father…."-

-"What are you doing here Serena?"-

-"I'm here to inform you that you can fool your father or your brother…but not me."-  
In a couple of minutes, Serena humiliated her and erased the little self-confidence she had gained these last few days.

-"Is that what you think too, Eric?"-  
He nodded but didn't say a word.

-"Well, then I think you can get up from the couch and head back to Manhattan cause I surely made a lot of mistakes, but that doesn't mean you're allowed to came here and humiliate me."-

Eric got up and went near her –"Jenny, it's not like we want to go against you, but you do understand it's hard to trust you"-  
Now she was beyond angry –"I didn't ask for your trust. I won't be a problem cause I'm not planning on going back to UES anytime soon. I've been officially banished, and even if I wasn't, there's nothing left for me there."-

-"You have your father…"-  
-"This is his house too. He can come whenever he wants."-  
-"You have me too."-

-"You made perfectly clear with this visit, that you wanted to check on me to see what I'm up to. Not as a friend. Now I have some things to do. If you'll excuse me, that is the door."-

When She heard the front door closed, she went to her room, and cried herself to sleep"- .

In the meantime Dan was at a coffee shop with Nate

-"So how is Serena?"-

-"Really Nate? Why don't you ask her youself?"-  
-"Dan…"-

-"No Nate...are you really going to spend the rest your summer using Chuck's black book?"-  
-"Dan I don't need a lecture…"-  
-"Ok… none of my business.. anyway I'm not staying here anymore.."-  
-"Where are you living?"-

-"I'm living at the loft." –He didn't really want to tell him, or anyone for the matter, that Jenny was still in Brooklyn. He didn't want unexpected visits. Not only for Jenny, but because Georgina was coming back with their son. A son nobody knew about.

-"Good! You're living alone… I'm going to come over sometime…"-  
Dan panicked. He didn't want to tell Jenny about Georgina either, but he didn't have a choice. Anyway he didn't want to tell her till the very last minute. He didn't want to betray his sister, but Georgina was not someone to keep a low profile, and less people knew, the better it was. He figured he didn't have a choice but to tell him.

-"Jenny lives here too."-  
Nate all but chocked his coffee –"WHAT?! Didn't your father send her to Hudson?"-

-" Jenny asked me to stay with her, and let her try to find a normal dimension again. My father and I decided to give her a last chance."-

-"Can I talk to her?"-  
-"I don't think it's a good Idea. She's trying to stay away from all this mess. She doesn't want to come to Manhattan no matter what."-

-"Please Dan, I heard everyone's version, but I want to know the entire story. No Blair, no Chuck and no fights on the way."-

Dan thought about it and figured it was better to know first if he was going to pay them a visit instead of finding him on his front door unexpected.

-"Fine, I'll talk to her. But, if she says no, please do not insist."  
-"Deal."-

-" and please, get rid of that stupid book, Ok?"

Dan came home and found Jenny sleeping on her bed. He ordered pizza and woke her up. He saw her eyes and he knew she had been crying.

-"What's wrong?"-

-"Nothing to worry about.."-  
-"Jen….."-

She sobbed again –"Serena was here."-

-"What did she say? I swear I didn't tell her Jen.."-

-"She told me I was fooling you and Dad, and that she doesn't trust me. I understand, and I don't care. I'm crying because Eric thinks the same"-

Pizza arrived and they talked a little more about how to avoid Serena or Blair. They were dreading a visit from Blair, but they tried to relax anyway. He didn't wanted to upset her, but he had to keep his promise to Nate.

-"Jenny I saw Nate today."-

Her eyes widened –"Why are you telling me that?"-

-"I can't tell you the reason right now, but you'll understand soon. I had to tell him you're here."-

-"How could you? I can't believe it!"-

She got up and started washing the dished but Dan stopped her.

-"He wants to meet you Jen"-

_"Why? I don't want to see him. I don't want to see anybody from UES."-

-"Jen he wants to hear what happened. And he wants to hear it from you. Think about it, you can explain yourself, and…."-

-"And what? Listen, I'll talk to him, but I want to be clear: I'm not going to beg anybody for forgiveness. When I 'll tell him everything, he will run away. I just know it. And you too. "-

**Hi girls!**

**Following the story, Chuck is in Prague, so he's not in the story yet. There's no winner between Nate, Chuck and Carter, so I haven't decided who's going to end up with Jenny. **

**Anyway, Nate is the one who has more votes so far.**

**I want to explain that Serena and Blair are not going to be the mean girls in this story. It's just that they're angry with Jenny.**

**Let me know what you think with your reviews, and sorry for any mistakes. **


	3. Clarity

2 – Clarity

Jenny was pacing around waiting for Nate. She was wondering why on earth she had agreed to meet him, but still she hadn't found the answer. After a long talk, Dan had persuaded her, but she had imposed a few conditions. She wanted to meet him at the loft, cause she wanted to have control over the situation; the second was that whenever she decided it was too much for her, Nate would go away without protests.

She finally heard the doorbell rang. '_you can do that, J! Just keep your head up, no matter what!'_

-"Hi Jenny"-

-"Hi"-

She shifted a bit to allow him to step inside. He came inside and sat on the couch.

-"So, what do you want to know?"-

-"Jen…."-

-"No, you're not here to chit-chat with me. Just ask what you want to know, so I can go on with my life and forget this story."-

-"OK, I want to know what has gotten in your mind. I want to know why you slept with Chuck. And I want to know if it was worth to lose everything."-

She already felt tears threatening to fall. But she promised herself she would have been strong. She wasn't going to let him see her pain.

-"I don't know. I couldn't stop. I was sinking, and I couldn't keep afloat. I figured the only way out was to drown faster."-

He was astonished. He knew she had some problems, but he didn't know how much lost she felt.

-"Jenny I didn't know you felt like that"-

-"I kept my appearance strong. I was so amazed with that world that even if I knew I was out of control, I couldn't let anyone know, cause I didn't want to lose the game."- She sighed when she felt tears again –"I was looking for you…"-

-"What?"-

-"I was looking for you… The night I slept with Chuck."-

By then the tears were running through her cheeks.

-"Nate can you leave please? I can't, it's too much…"-

She started to walk to her room but he got up and grabbed her wrist –"You can't expect me to leave after you said something like that!"-

She shook his hand away -" I came to see you, but you weren't there. I saw Chuck drowning his sorrows with one of his bottles, and I decided to try with his method. I was in autopilot. I didn't even remember how we got that far, but when I found myself on his bed I was sure I didn't want to stop. I was so numb I didn't even think about the consequences. I didn't think I was giving myself to someone who thinks I'm inferior, I still don't know if he used a condom, and at the time I didn't even care."- He flinched at her words –"I don't want you to think I came to the Empire to seduce you. I came to talk to you, to find a way out, cause you knew about everything had happened."-

-"I'm sorry"-

-"Don't be. You have a life, and I couldn't expect you to be always waiting to solve my problems. Anyway, it doesn't matter anymore. I want to leave all this mess in the past. I need to. And I need to be away from UES. And that includes you, and Eric, and Lily."-

-"Jenny you don't have to do this."-

-"I do. I'm not planning to go to UES anytime soon . I don't want to fall down again. Cause I won't have a backpack anymore. I'm lucky I was able to persuade Dan and my father. I don't want to go to Hudson cause I like to be here.."_

Nate was getting angry. With Jenny, and with himself. -"you're so freaking selfish! You always think it's all about yourself! You never think about how the things you do can affect the others. There's people who cares about you!"-

-"Do you Nate? Have you ever thought about how leaving me to stay with Vanessa, or rubbing all your girlfriends, and milfs, in my face affected me? Have you ever stopped to think about the reason I've always had to beg you for your forgiveness, while everyone else came out clean?"-

-"That's because you're different…"- He screamed.  
-"That's not what you've said not so long ago. But you're right, I'm different. Or better, I'm working on it. And to reach my goal, I have to stay away from Manhattan."- Now she was furious. She seemed to be talking to a wall. He wasn't listening to her. He wasn't able to understand her.

-"Jenny come on, do you really think it's a solution? Exile yourself here and shut out the rest of the world?"-

-"I'm not shutting out the world, I'm shutting out the world who ruined me, along with the people who hurt me."-

He put the pieces together. If she's excluding the people who hurt her, and she is excluding him as well…He hurt her!

-"I hurt you too…"- He didn't have the courage to look at her –" I….I'm going home…. Don't worry, I'll respect your wish… Just… Promise me It's not for ever…Please Jenny, promise me!"-

-"I'll only came back to UES if my father needs me, or for some events, where I'm going to play 'happy family' with Serena. Goodbye Nate"-

Nate came out from the loft and found a limo parked . The door opened and he stepped inside.

-"So, why did you visit Little J? Did you want to have your way with her too?"-

-"Blair what do you want?"-

-"I want to know what you were doing here, and What did she said to you…"-

-"None of your business and none of your business"-

-"Is she planning on coming back?"-

-"No."-

-"What then?"-

-"I had to listen to her…"-

-"And?"-

-"And she told me to back off and leave her be. Away from UES. Away from us."-

-"Good. She better keep on like that"-

Truth is, they didn't expect to face a situation like that. Nate couldn't believe that his actions were part of the reason Jenny became a bad mix of Blair and Georgina. And he couldn't believe that Chuck had hurt Blair and everyone, sleeping with Jenny.

Blair was just as confused as Nate. She didn't think that Jenny could've had the courage to sleep with Chuck. And she couldn't believe that Chuck could've used Jenny, even the bitchy version of her, like a hooker to forget his sorrows.

Little did they know, Chuck and Jenny were just as astonished as they were

Chuck was in Prague thinking about how to gain Blair forgiveness. But he also wanted Jenny's one.

On the other side, Jenny didn't think she owed anything to Chuck. They took advantage of each other, and they ended up sleeping together. According to Jenny, It was what it was. It wasn't special, it wasn't romantic. It was painful, and it was dirty and it was all about Chuck. He didn't say sweet words, he didn't ask her if she was sure, or fine. She just wanted to forget it ever happened.

**I'm sorry if this chapter is so short, but I felt like 'The Big Talk' needed a chapter for itself. I'll try to make up to you in the next chapter.**

**By the way, Don't worry: Jenny is not Pregnant! And Blair would calm down eventually. **

**By the way: Brace yourself, Georgina is coming!**


End file.
